Part III: Limos and Sleep
by Michelle-And-The-Beatle
Summary: Stu has had way too much 'fun' with Alan over the years. He always seemed to be the root of their issues every time they were together. Phil tries to keep Stu calm and to live with the bearded young man for a while longer. Please Enjoy!


**Very faint Phil/Stu slash. Not many spoilers, but to understand it you have to have seen the third film. Also slight language issue, but I think most people who are a fan of these movies can handle it.**

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After exiting the pawn shop, the Wolfpack stood outside. Alan seemed elated while Stu was pacing and Phil was rubbing his chin in thought.

"What are we supposed to do?" Stu asked. An idea suddenly popped into Phil's mind.

"Jade."

"What?"

"Jade. She's an escort, right? We can get her to call this place and find Chow."

"Yeah... man, that'll be pretty awkward."

"We'll go see her in the morning. I think we should sleep for a while."

"Yeah. Chow will be difficult to stop."

"Is that okay with you, Alan?" Phil asked. Alan was looking through the window of the pawn shop, presumably to sneak another look at Cassy.

"Alan," Phil said again. Alan turned around and smiled.

"She smiled at me."

Stu and Phil exchanged glances.

"Um, we're thinking of packing it in for the night, Alan."

"Great. Were will we be sleeping?"

Phil looked around them, spinning in a full circle. They were all low on cash and phones.

"Just for tonight we can sleep in the limo."

"Cool. I'm bunking next to Phil."

"No, I don't think so."

"How is Stu gonna sleep if there are only two long seats in the back?"

"Stu placed his hands on his hips, chewing on his lower lip. He really couldn't believe Alan's bluntness.

"Someone will sleep on the floor in the back," Phil answered Alan.

"It won't be me. I have a bad back."

"We'll figure it out, Alan. Let's just drive to someplace we can park the damn thing."

"Very well. Shotgun."

Stu glared at Alan before settling himself in between Phil and Alan. They drove into the desert and Phil pulled over.

"Okay. Alan can get one of the seats and I'll go on the floor," Phil said.

"No, I'll sleep on the floor, Phil."

"Stu, just take the seat. You have fucking whiplash or something."

"It only happens when I put strain on my back."

"Stu, just sleep on the fucking limo seat."

They were quiet. Alan had gone inside the limo already and had made himself comfortable.

Stu just looked at Phil, sighed, and crawled into the limo. Phil got in after him and laid down on the floor in between the two seats He pulled the door closed behind him.

By the time Phil got comfortable, Alan was already snoring. He heard Stu sniff then saw him adjust himself on the limo seat, kicking Phil in the face in the process.

"Fuck!" Phil yelled out.

"Shit! I'm sorry, Phil."

"It's fine."

"I'm sorry."

"Stu, I'm fine. Just watch where you put your fucking feet."

"Yeah. Okay."

"Go back to sleep, man."

"Okay."

A silence lasted for a solid minute before Alan snored again.

"Stu?"

"Uh-hu?"

"You okay?"

Stu had to clear his throat before answering with, "Yeah."

"You seem quiet."

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

There was no answer. Phil twisted his body and sat up straight to try to look at Stu.

"Hey," Phil tapped the back of Stu's head, "Look at me."

Stu curled in on himself more.

"Stu," Phil now slapped Stu's back, earning an "Ow!" from him. He flipped himself over so he could look at Phil.

"What?"

Phil just stared at Stu for a second before saying, "You seem... worried."

"Great observation, Phil."

"I'm being serious."

Phil studied Stu's face.

"Is it about Doug?"

Phil could see Stu bite his lip and nod.

"He's gonna be okay, Stu."

Stu nodded again, eyes now squinting.

"Don't cry, Stu."

"I-I'm not crying," Stu said in a higher voice than his normal one.

"Doug will be fine. We'll get Chow and give the gold back to Marshall. Everyone will be fine."

Phil rubbed Stu's arm comfortingly.

"And he's not helping much either," Stu pointed at Alan.

"You just have to deal with him a bit longer, Stu. He's not right."

"I know. He just... pisses me off so fucking much."

"I know, Stu, I know. After all of this we'll go back to our normal lives."

"I hope so."

"We will. Don't worry about it."

Stu laid his head on the black leather seat. Phil saw how sad he looked and felt bad.

"Would it make you feel better if we go find Jade now?"

"No, we should rest."

Phil nodded. He was now leaning against the door in the limo. Just when he thought Stu had fallen asleep, the bespeckled man spoke.

"Why are we always involved in this kind of stuff?"

"I don't know."

"It's all because we met Alan. We were normal and fine until fucking Alan screwed up our lives!"

"Shhh, Stu. You don't wanna wake him up, do you?"

Stu was breathing hard and nodded his head after Phil said that. Phil rubbed the top of Stu's head.

"You need to calm down, man."

Stu nodded his head. Phil could tell that his friend's eyes were getting glassier.

"You know," Stu began in a choked voice, "I used to be happy. I used to be a normal dentist with a normal life and normal friends. I used to be happy and smile-"

"You still smile."

"Yeah, but not when I'm with him."

Phil could see Stu glare at Alan. He scooted himself down so he was directly in front of Stu, blocking his sight of Alan.

"You know what? Don't even look at him. Pretend he's not there. Okay?"

Stu stared right into Phil's distinguishable blue eyes and nodded.

"Good."

Phil placed a hand on Stu's cheek, hopefully trying to keep him in a serene state.

"Thanks, Phil."

"No problem, bud."

They were quiet until Stu smirked and said, "I think Alan has a man-crush on you."

Phil's face fell and he looked positively repulsed. Stu's smirk turned into a full-blown smile.

"Okay, get up. We're switching."

"What? You can't be serious."

"I am serious. Move."

"Come on, I don't deserve this."

"Yeah, you do. You accused me of being strongly desired by fucking crazy over here."

Stu laughed as he said, "And?"

"You insulted me."

"Oh, excuse me, Mr. Laugh-at-Stu-when-he-has-issues. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings," Stu said sarcastically.

"Stu. Get. Up."

"This isn't exactly what sleep is supposed to be."

"Move."

Phil nudged Stu, but he didn't budge.

"Stu, I swear I will bite you."

"Gross... but I'm still not moving. You agreed to give me this seat."

Phil was seriously considering biting Stu. He leaned his head over and placed his mouth on Stu's forehead.

Immediately Stu screeched, "EWW!" and he bolted upright. Phil took advantage of the opening and sat on the cleared portion of the limo seat, smiling triumphantly.

"Bastard!" Stu slapped Phil's arm, wiping the spit off of his forehead.

"Thanks for moving, Stu."

Stu just shook his head, smiling slightly. He laid down on his side, resting his head on Phil's lap. Phil placed a hand on Stu's side and another stayed put on his lap. He bounced his knee up and down to annoy Stu. The other one whined.

"I'm trying to sleep. Stop."

"Alright, alright."

Stu closed his eyes, breathing evenly, enjoying the feeling of Phil's hand on his side. Phil adjusted himself into a more comfortable position, so that he was leaning against the limo door.

They fell asleep in that position and woke up in almost the same way.

The only difference is that their hands were intertwined by morning.

~The End~


End file.
